Arab Tyrant Manual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Order police to kill people. Then say you don't know how it happened and you'll form a fact-finding commission. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Say that you ruled the country out of love and service and you have no desire for power and have no money. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Have a military parade. Say it's for the nation. It's actually to show them what'll come at them if they revolt. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Order the interior minister to kill them all. Then sack him for his heavy-handedness. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Say that the kids were pure of heart, but were tricked by "foreign agendas". #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Say that the kids were tricked into protesting through X (KFC, Nescafe, drugs, sex, etc.) #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Kill a thousand. And then say that you have no idea how they died because you haven't used force "yet". #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Stage demonstrations in support of your rule. But don't give them flags & banners. Give them 50 bucks & an AK47. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Say your country doesn't need a revolution coz it already had one. Cite the year you came to power. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Let your thugs loose on the protesters. Say that these were unfortunate clashes between pro- and anti- demonstrators. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Bring in the boogie man of your grandfather's generation: Colonialism & imperialism. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Call your favorite brown-nose celebrity (singer, dancer, soccer player, etc.). Ask to talk on TV in your support. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Use religion. Call your state mufti and promise him a pay raise for the proper fatwa. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Use religion. Call your state mufti and promise him a pay raise for the proper fatwa. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Hold a press conference to suck up to journalists. Then, send thugs after them to punch them and smash their cameras. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Say that the protests started as a pure youth movement but were "hijacked" by a foreign agenda. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Foreign agenda X (where X can be: Islamism, Zionism, Israel, Iran, USA, colonialism, imperialism...) #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Have a charming interview with a famous journalist. Amanpour would do. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Say that your people are not ready for democracy. You have to pave the way to it, by acting like a complete asshole. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

If foreign nations criticize, blast them for not understanding your culture. "In our culture, I rule. They obey." #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Send your army into the streets. Say they are there to "protect the kids". Have them kidnap and rape the kids instead. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Pull a Bundy ("four touchdowns in one game"). Brag about your wartime achievements for your country. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Say that you finally understand the people. "I understand you now." #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Tell them that if they don't go back home, the bad men will come and take away all their oil. #ArabTyrantManual

İyad el-Baghdadi | إياد البغدادي @iyad_elbaghdadi

Say that you "got the message" and "will act on it soon". Don't mention what "soon" means. #ArabTyrantManual