@MrJamesMay handling a beaver for the very first time. http://t.co/mKUUl37P8J
2014-03-06 18:18:53@JeremyClarkson Nonsense. I got my hands on one in Vancouver, in 1998.
2014-03-07 03:43:07@MrJamesMay We'll I just made the coffee machine work so it's a start.
2014-03-07 03:44:17@JeremyClarkson Double espresso then please. I'm not worried about it keeping me awake.
2014-03-07 03:49:43I can't stand being in that helicopter with you a moment longer @JeremyClarkson.
2014-03-07 15:40:51@MrJamesMay Dinner in Lafayette: have just been asked if I want cheese in the olive in my martini. Or I could have bacon in my whisky. True
2014-03-08 10:27:41@RichardHammond It's nice to have one's prejudices confirmed by an impartial observer. #CheeseWithEverything
2014-03-08 10:31:14No offence, Americans, but British bacon is better than yours. #FactOfTheDay
2014-03-08 11:09:27But American cheeseburgers are brilliant. I've just had one. In Australia.
2014-03-08 11:29:52Yes, yes, OK, I had an excellent Aussie pork chop last night. #Strewth
2014-03-08 11:38:20@MrJamesMay American cheese is made of string, Tupperware, old cats and stuff. Brits enjoy proper cheese. Made of Belstaff jackets.
2014-03-08 11:41:17@MrJamesMay didn't like being in a beaver and is now in a squirrel. http://t.co/ylgjReGxIZ
2014-03-08 17:01:44“@Newmsy: Burma Special photo on Facebook makes you look like a miserable, empoverished Bernie Ecclestone with dyed hair”. Can't argue!
2014-03-08 21:06:38“@goldddustwoman: I was talking to Jeremy today, he said you're dead. True?” Wait a minute; no, not dead. Can't be. Eating breakfast.
2014-03-08 21:52:10“@MJ_SKC: No, he said you dyed.” Ha, good effort. But NOT TRUE!!! ....oh never mind, I give up.
2014-03-08 22:02:18“@LadySnorkMaiden: Do you miss James and Jeremy??” Yes. Like you miss athletes foot; aware it's not there.
2014-03-08 22:03:15News from Oz. The spider in my bathroom this morning was so big, I could tell from its facial expression that it was sad.
2014-03-09 05:11:39I've just met a spider in our Aussie house. He said there was a massive bellend in his room this morning.
2014-03-09 06:03:25Last night, the sun stoved @MrJamesMay 's head in http://t.co/bVGfMQ68bn
2014-03-09 12:45:12@JeremyClarkson You've given me a centre parting, you bastard. And your wine's gone all pink. #Fugger
2014-03-09 13:00:57